I used to fight my insecurities.
I would try to bury them, ignore them, push through them, hate them, overpower them, rage against them.
But fighting them never worked. It just made them stronger and me weaker.
When you fight someone, you give the person the power and opportunity to exchange blows with you.
And it’s the same with insecurities. When you fight insecurities, you give them power. Power to alter the way you live, to stick around, to be on equal footing with your true self.
And insecurities will take things from you when you fight them, whether it’s energy, confidence, hope, or peace of mind.
So, I stopped fighting my insecurities, and started making friends with them instead.
And you know what? It’s working.
I’m less insecure, more confident, and don’t worry as much about what other people think of me.
They’re still around, but increasingly less so.
Making friends with insecurities doesn’t mean giving in to them.
Rather, it means listening to them. It means finding out what makes them tick, what they like and don’t like, what gives them power.
It means getting to know them. It means not taking them so seriously. It means accepting their presence.
When we make friends with our insecurities, we see how vulnerable they are. We see their weaknesses.
Insecurities, deep down, are made of feathers, not bricks and knives.
They are full of cracks and holes and are rather self-conscious themselves.
And when we see their vulnerable and weak sides, they become less scary and therefore less powerful.
So stop fighting your insecurities. Make friends with them instead.
Take them out for coffee. Discover their wounds and strengths. Have a little conversation and get to know them.
When you love and befriend your enemies, they have a tendency to stop being your enemies.